http://shanaolmstead.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/relationship-counseling-kirkland-washingtonDo You Need Help With a Relationship in Your Life?

  • Are you trying to decide if you’re in the right relationship?
  • Does your partner have complaints about how you are in your relationship?
  • Are you single and don’t know why you haven’t found “the one”?
  • Have you just gone through a break up?
  • Are you struggling with a friendship, work or family relationship?
  • Is your relationship trouble creating stress, worry, sadness and/or anger in your life, and you wish you knew how to cope with these difficult emotions, move forward and form fulfilling relationships?

We are all involved in multiple relationships in our lives. While there are many benefits and rewards to be gained from them, they can also be very difficult to navigate and can bring many sometimes confusing emotions to the surface.

You may have felt confused, dissatisfied or lonely for many years, and are finally ready to do something about it. Or, you may have had a recent event or conflict in a relationship that is causing you trouble. You may be currently in a relationship and just need more tools for communicating effectively with your partner. Maybe you two have stopped talking about anything real, or maybe you are now living as roommates rather than the partners you want to be. Sometimes a betrayal happens in a relationship. It causes terrible feelings, but can often be the crisis that really creates the change that you’ve needed.

Conflict with anyone important to you can lead to significant impacts in other areas of your life. It can be overwhelming and distracting, and lead to anxiety and depression. It can also be isolating. You may not want to discuss the problems you’re having in a relationship with the people around you, even though you do want it to get better.

Relationship Issues Are Common

Many people come into therapy when in a relationship crisis, whether they are deciding to leave, after a break up or when it’s just “not working” anymore. It can be difficult, lonely, and scary to navigate these issues on your own. In addition, if not resolved, relationship problems can impact everything else in your life and have been proven to lead to mental health problems like anxiety and depression as well as stress and physical illness.

You may have tried discussing the issue with family or friends who have all kinds of their own advice, which may or may not be helpful to you at all. They all may be too busy with their own relationship issues to hear about yours, or you may not want to “dump” on them. Sometimes it can feel very private and personal. You may not want everyone to know if there are problems, because if things get better, they may not be able to forgive and forget all the terrible things you have told them about your partner.

Most people don’t have a lot of training or education on how to be in a relationship, how to heal after one has ended or how to leave if they need to. It’s not easy, and unfortunately, we are not taught how to navigate these things in school.

Fear can get in the way of thinking clearly and knowing how to navigate your situation. No healthy decision can be made with fear involved, and most of the time when an answer is not clear, it is because you are scared – either of saying the wrong thing, creating conflict or ultimately being alone.

These very common fears can make so many people keep their feelings inside, which sometimes makes it more likely for those fears to come true. Sometimes, fear can keep you stuck in a relationship that you always knew deep down wasn’t right, but you were always afraid to admit it, even to yourself. Regardless of your situation, fear will not guide you to the relationships you crave.

Relationship Counseling Can Allow You to Be Free

It doesn’t have to be this way. There is help to be found for your relationship. Relationships can often be healed and transformed by learning about how you have contributed to the problem.

My training in systems and relationship counseling can help you understand that while you do live in a world of many different relationships and they all have an impact on you, you also have a great deal of control over changing how you behave in them. Your actions can greatly influence the “system” of the relationship. It’s very exciting and empowering to realize how much personal power you really have!

In relationship counseling sessions, I can help you discover old thoughts and limiting beliefs, usually formed in childhood, that are probably currently in charge of how you are in relationships. When you can make more sense of the why you are the way you are in relationships, you are then able to make different choices for the future.

Sometimes that involves shifting the way you see someone else and the way you communicate with him or her. Sometimes it means understanding your role, improving your contribution to the relationship and then realizing you may be in the wrong one. Sometimes it means understanding past relationship problems so that you are really truly ready to be in one that lasts.

It always means feeling more at peace, more authentic and more connected.

Maybe you want to learn more about your part in your relationship issues, but still have questions or concerns…

How can I fix my relationship on my own? 

You won’t be alone. In sessions, I will offer you tools and guidance so that you can practice new behaviors in your relationships. I will be by your side to give you helpful and supportive feedback throughout the process of changing your relationships. I have helped many individuals transform their personal relationships simply by changing the way they think about and relate to the people in their lives. You have more power over the dynamics of your relationship than you may realize. For example, if you are able to express your feelings in a softer way more clearly to your partner, your partner may respond by listening and understanding how you feel, and then changing their behavior in response. Once you understand the personal power you have and claim it, amazing things will happen.

But I know it’s his/her/their fault!

Sometimes, the people we are in relationships with really do behave in ways that hurt us. But, if you have been struggling with relationship issues your entire life, it can be important to consider the common denominator. You may be surrounded by the wrong people and the wrong relationships, and you’ve probably known it for a long time. Your intuition has been whispering to you from the beginning, but you haven’t been listening. That is the part that’s up to you. During relationship counseling, I can help you turn up the volume on your inner voice and help you really tune in and listen to what’s always been inside.

Relationship counseling really sounds hard.

It’s really not difficult to go through the relationship counseling process. Sometimes painful emotions do come up as we work toward healing, but it is much more painful to live unconsciously, being ruled by old fear and false beliefs about yourself and the world. Freedom feels much better, I can help you get there.

You don’t need to be stuck anymore. Please call (206) 799-0936 or send me an appointment request to learn more about relationship counseling!