I recently had a moment of misalignment with my higher self (gasp!) I was going on vacation, and parking at my best friend’s house who lives close to the airport for convenience. The day of our trip, I was sick (which makes me very cranky), it was early, I had not slept well (partly because of being sick), we had time pressure to make it to the airport on time, it was pouring down rain (which just makes all of it more annoying), and I was having issues with the Uber app for some reason.
I was only just a little tiny bit cranky with my kids and my friend as we got to her house and were transitioning into the Uber. We were going to Maui, to have an amazing time, and I was still caught up in a moment of crankiness.
I had done all the things to feel better…I meditated in the morning, I listened to things that made me feel good in the car on the way there, I visualized everything going well, I asked for help from the Universe to feel good and at peace.
And still. I was a little cranky for five minutes between getting to my friend’s house and getting all of our stuff into an Uber to get to the airport.
That wasn’t the worst part though. When I’m not feeling well, my brain, like everyone else’s, has a harder time staying positive. I am also very sensitive in all ways, so I can really feel it very intensely when something is off in my body and mind.
This made it harder for me to let go of the (really very tiny and short and mild) cranky moment I had. I was judging myself and questioning why I wasn’t able to be more mindful in that moment. I was conscious of this train of thought, and doing my best to shift it, but still it was there behind the scenes saying “why were you so irritable” and “you are better than that”.
I have a view of myself as spiritual, and calm, and loving and always mindful. While I know rationally that I am also a human being working through stuff like we all are, I have a hard time letting go of times when I don’t feel I am being my best self.
I have made it through so many hard things in my life, and I know that over all I am a lovely person. All of this is true, and at the same time I am flawed and a perfectly imperfect human just like all of us. I am working on embracing and loving all of the parts of myself. Even the parts that aren’t perfect and magical and sparkly and Zen all the time.
Everything is here to help me grow, and this moment helped me to know that I want to continue working all the time on mindfulness and non-reactivity. I want to remember in every moment that I am doing the best I can.
The judgment I had of myself in that moment was the thing that made it hard to let go of. As I grow in my self-love, I accept that yes I do have irritable moments now and then, and guess what? That’s ok! Everyone, including therapists, spiritual teachers and self-help gurus are also humans that are working on themselves.
If I can just let these moments pass through me they move through quickly. The judgment is just like adding fuel to a fire, expanding and making it big when it doesn’t need to be any bigger than a little passing spark.
The sooner I can let go of criticizing myself for not being perfect, the more quickly I can come back into alignment with my true self.
Some practices that helped me to let go of the judgment (it didn’t take long, this whole thing happened in maybe 30 minutes or less) were this:
1. Coming back to my body
As soon as I was able (in the Uber on the way to the airport) I connected back to my body by slowing down my breath using the peace begins with me meditation.
I took a slow deep breath, using the fingers on my right hand and touching them to my thumb for each word: Peace (inhale, exhale), Begins (inhale, exhale), With (inhale, exhale), Me (inhale, exhale).
I repeated this for 2-3 minutes until I felt my body relax.
2. Bringing in the love
I then continued the slow deep breaths while placing my hand on my heart and feeling love and appreciation for myself from the Universe.
I visualized white sparkly light coming down from the heavens and surrounding me with beautiful loving energy.
I did this for maybe 1-2 minutes and felt my energetic vibration increase.
3. I reminded myself of the truth
Our brains don’t understand the truth if we are still feeling triggered in the fight or flight response, so it’s very important to calm yourself down before you try to shift your thoughts.
Once my body was feeling great, I introduced more truthful thoughts again like “you are doing the best you can, there are no mistakes”, and “everything is happening in divine order” and “you are a being of light surrounded by the loving energy of the universe”
4. I remembered to laugh at myself
I usually am great at laughing at things like this. None of this is serious, what a cute little silly human person I am thinking this is a big deal.
I recently sucked my hair into the vacuum cleaner attachment (the horror!) and after I screamed and turned it off, I just couldn’t stop laughing about it as I untangled my hair from the machine.
When I can remember to lighten up, I can feel into the light of remembering that all there is, is love and light and energy and that there is no reason to worry about anything ever.
hope any of this is helpful for you. You are a lovely human, learning and growing. There are no mistakes, it is all helping you to evolve. The more quickly you can let go of your self-judgment when you have an unaligned moment, the sooner you can get back to feeling good!
Read more about Relationship Issues with Shana Olmstead.
Shana Olmstead, Intuitive Consultant
I see my life purpose as helping people to awaken to the truth of their divine nature, the powerful spiritual beings that they are. I have assisted hundreds of clients in my therapy practice to wake up to the understanding that we are all made of source energy, and are here to increase our consciousness and joy to help the evolution everyone on the planet. I am so excited and inspired to continue helping people through their own awakening! Contact me to schedule an appointment in person in Kirkland, Washington or for a phone or video consultation wherever you are located.
