While I know a lot of people are staying at home by themselves right now, there are also many people that are staying with others. This can be comforting, and also annoying! No matter how much we love the people in our lives, seeing them every day all day can be a lot!
Finding ways to navigate these situations is challenging during these times but can also open up new ways of communicating and appreciating each other that can be transformative not just now, but when things go back to “normal.”
It is a really good time to slow down and connect with those in our lives in a deeper way. Without many of the distractions that are normally present: kids’ school, activities, work in the world, social activities, etc. We get to really see and connect with those in our lives and families.
I am seeing all kinds of ways that my clients are both struggling with and connecting more with those in their lives during this time. There are some things that work to make it easier, and some things that just create more disconnection and frustration with the people in their lives.
Some ways of connecting and relating that I see right now that are working well for myself, the people in my life, and clients are:
1. Space and Self Care!
As an empath and sensitive person, and working with many clients who are also sensitive, I know that creating space even while being in the same house is very important.
People that I’m talking to are doing this in all kinds of ways, and the people that aren’t creating some space for themselves are not very happy.
Especially for sensitive empathic people, it’s so important to be able to have some space for yourself in order to feel balanced as well as to know how YOU really feel, not your partner or roommate or child.
Empaths have a hard time in general understanding their own emotions separate from those around them, and especially during this time when some of us are together more than ever, it’s so important to create that space and time to do this!
The clients that I have that are managing this most successfully have strategies that help them create space to connect with their own internal insight as well as disconnecting from the people they are living with.
This helps them feel more balanced and have the energy they need to continue giving back to their families, friends and work.
Some things that are working are:
Waking up before the rest of the household and finding ways to connect with themselves including journaling, meditating, or exercising.
Blocking off time on the work calendar to not go connect with the family, but to take a solo walk, or meditate, or just sit quietly. The rest of the family doesn’t even need to know this is happening, but they appreciate the way it helps you to be a calmer and happier member of the household.
Taking a break after work to go for a walk, run or bike ride by yourself.
While it can feel tempting to spend all of your off-work hours connecting with your family or whoever you live with, if you neglect taking some space to connect with yourself, you will end up feeling trapped and resentful.
This is always true, but especially so during these times!
The more you can take space when you need it, and appreciate and take good care of yourself, the easier it is to remember step two: practicing appreciation of those in your life.
2. Appreciation!
Appreciation is a transformative energy. When we can conjure up appreciation for those in our lives, it shuts down that feeling of annoyance or criticism, and allows us to see them for who they truly are: a soul trying it’s best in the world, just like us!
Annoyance or frustration with anyone is just a reminder to go deeper and practice. It’s not a reflection of the other person, it’s always about us!
Yes, I know that it’s really easy to blame them and to think “If only they would/wouldn’t do that thing, everything would be better!”
But really, everyone in our lives is a personal emotional trainer. They are here to help us polish our own rough edges of judgment,criticism, and separation. They are a reflection of what is unhealed within us.
A fun practice to increase you sense of appreciation for those in your lives is to consciously bring loving and appreciative thoughts into your awareness proactively, and when you feel yourself getting triggered into annoyance, slow down, take some deep breaths, and visualize how precious that person is to you.
For example, my lovely amazing 16-year-old daughter is a little messy sometimes, and her mamma (me:) likes things really clean. While of course I’m not perfect, and I’m not mindful 100% of the time, I do my best to slow down when she leaves the counter messy with melted chocolate, take some deep breaths and visualize her as the sweet, sunshiny spirit that she is.
This shifts my energy from annoyance to gratitude. I can then either wipe up the counter myself, or calmly ask her to do it with a lot of kindness, lightness and appreciation.
She feels this and is much more willing to help and participate when she feels my energy as loving and connected rather than annoyed. This increases our connection, and the peace and harmony in the household.
These are just a few tips to stay feeling good and connected to those that you are living with right now.
This current situation is here to help us learn and grow. To help us understand even more how to be able to deeply connect with ourselves, and those people in our lives.
As we grow in these areas in this time, it’s going to help us maintain the harmonious habits as we continue our conscious evolution!
Read more about Spiritual Counseling with Shana Olmstead.
