I have had several new clients this week, who reached out to me for various reasons. Social anxiety, discerning a career path, anxiety, self-criticism, etc. I began noticing a pattern, not just with these clients, this week, but with many others as well.
It’s not necessarily a new noticing, but when it gets reinforced like this in multiple ways it means the universe is highlighting it. The common pattern, when I look at these new clients or anyone else, is that they are not necessarily in alignment with who they are yet, and so they are not able to be in the situations and with the people that serve their highest good.
When we don’t know ourselves, especially for the empathic, sensitive souls that I work with, we tend to blame ourselves for the way we feel. We may ask “what is wrong with me?” when we don’t feel like we fit in like everyone else around us does.
For example, if we are in a workplace scenario that is very high intensity, and everyone around us is critical, judgmental, and stressed, 
we may take that personally and think we are just not tough enough to handle it.
Or, if we grow up in an environment where everyone around us is in conventional job fields, and judge others for doing things differently, we may also judge ourselves for not fitting into the same box that seems to fit everyone else so easily.
Or we go through school like we are supposed to and end up in the very high paying and well-respected tech job that we were supposed to get, and we are miserable.
These situations are so common, and I can relate. I remember in my internship for becoming a licensed therapist, I was working in a community mental health facility. In our first meeting as a group, I was so excited. I was full of life, and explaining my theories of bringing spirituality into therapy, and how I was so passionate to do this. I remember just looking around at all the faces, they were all so burnt out, and defeated. They were not excited about what I was saying. They said, “Oh you’ll see, you’ll learn.”
At first, I believed them. I couldn’t see, until I didn’t get hired on there (thank goodness!) and ended up in a much better situation, how toxic and out of alignment that environment was for a sensitive, empathic, spiritual being like me.
There are some ways to know when we are trying to fit in when our energy would really be better suited somewhere else:
1. You Keep Trying and Trying but Nothing is Feeling Better:
At my internship I brought in brownies, banana bread and cookies every week (looking back and cringing at how hard I was trying to get them to see me!) I was so nice to everyone and went above and beyond to be helpful. This was not ever acknowledged or appreciated.
Maybe you keep trying to be nice to people at work, but all you get back is stress and criticism.
Or you try to convince those around you that your unconventional ideas are valid, and keep getting shot down.
Or you keep showing up at work, trying to be happy, but still don’t like your job.
These are signs it may be a good idea to reevaluate your workplace. “What if I am in alignment with my true path?”
2. You Have Different Dreams but Feel They are Impossible:
I knew even before my internship that I would end up doing what I do know. Being a bridge of psychology and spirituality and helping people my own way. If I believed the people at my internship site, I would have given up on those dreams, because they didn’t believe they were possible.
You may dream of a kinder more collaborative workplace.
You may dream of a career in a field that doesn’t make sense to anyone around you.
You may dream of a job that is completely different than your current one, but feel that because you went to school already, and make a lot of money you should just stay put.
These are signs to explore more and build your confidence about pursuing these different dreams. “What if I easily expand into my dreams?”
3. You Hear a Subtle Whisper from Your Intuition that Doesn’t Go Away:
Even when I wasn’t being recognized at all in my internship, my intuition still never wavered in reminding me of what I was really supposed to be doing.
Your intuition may be whispering to you “If the people around you are unkind, it has nothing to do with you.”
Your intuition may tell you “You can do that weird career; it really doesn’t matter what they think.”
Your intuition may whisper “You can be even more successful when you follow your joy in your career.”
This means to continue to listen to and trust your own intuition about your path. “What if I trust myself more every day?”
If you are noticing these signs, it does not mean there is something wrong with you. It means you are being called to something different. Something more in alignment with your gentle, empathic nature.
When you follow this call, and trust yourself, the world around you will also benefit from you expanding into your true nature.
Read more about Spiritual Counseling with Shana Olmstead.
