What if there is no such thing as good or bad? What if these labels aren’t helpful for us or our emotional and spiritual health? What if everything is ok just as it is?
We all judge all day long. Most of this is unconscious and under the surface. We are probably not even aware that it’s happening most of the time. Of course there are times when it is super clear and on the surface of our awareness as well. Like, “that girl’s outfit is real messed up” or “my thighs are fat.”
If you start to practice more awareness of how your energy feels when these judgments are happening, you will notice that it is definitely not feeding you positive energy. It may feel tiring, or draining, or frustrating, which are not high vibration feelings.
It makes sense logically that we judge. We were raised by judgers, who were raised by judgers, etc.…Nobody was trying to do anything wrong. They were trying to stay safe, or manage their fear, or just feel a little bit in control when in truth there is no such thing. Its ok, we’re all just trying our best.
It’s important to grow our awareness of the energetic impact these thoughts have on us in order to transform them. The practice of mindful awareness is essential in bringing our unconscious judgments into the light and shifting them. To be mindful means to be in the moment, observing without judgment. Noticing thoughts, feelings, sounds, etc.., without attaching labels like good or bad to them. Because in truth everything is perfect just the way it is.
As you start practicing mindful awareness of your thoughts, you will start noticing the judgments that have been hidden. They’re happening all the time, and can drain your energy if you’re not aware of them.
As you begin noticing your judgments more and more, don’t judge yourself for judging. That doesn’t help to let them go. Rather than thinking “I’m so stupid, I’m working on not judging and there I go, judging another thing again!” Kindness works much better “Aw good job noticing your judgment! How far you’ve come in your awareness, you didn’t even used to know it was happening!”
Just because there are judgments everywhere and many people have a habit of judging, doesn’t mean it’s a good idea or needs to continue. It’s not that difficult to shift the pattern of judgment, it just takes some practice in mindful awareness, and shifting to love.
In order to break the generations old patterns of judgments that we have all inherited, there are some simple tools we can use.
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Begin with awareness, there are some clues internally that can tip us off to when we are in a judging place:
Feeling angry, sad, depressed or anxious. Sometimes judgmental thoughts can convince us they are true, and lead us to feeling bad. Take some time to check in with what you’re thinking if you’re not feeling good, and shift any judgment towards yourself or others when you notice them.
When you pay attention to the words you are thinking or speaking, they can also give you insight into your judgments. Words like good, bad, ugly, terrible, hate, etc. are judging words.
Once you start to become more aware of your judging thoughts it’s time to shift perspective.
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Come back into alignment with the loving energy already inside of you:
While you’re still learning to integrate shifting from judgment to love it’s important to shift your energy in the moment and feel the love that is always present inside of you. This will help you more easily access a loving and compassionate perspective.
There are a lot of research based scientific reasons that coming back to your body in a mindful way works. It turns on the parasympathetic nervous system, and intervenes in the fight or flight response. This allows you to function more out of the prefrontal cortex of your brain rather than the amygdala, allowing you to be in a calmer state and think more peaceful thoughts.
One simple exercise to shift the energy from judgment to love real quick is:
After you notice yourself judging, pause, place your hand on your heart, take a deep breath in and imagine breathing loving energy into your heart. Continue slowly breathing and sending yourself love until you feel your body relax. This gives you a little hit of oxytocin, or the “love” chemical. It calms and relaxes you and brings you back into alignment with your higher self.
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Shift from judgment to love:
Once you are more present in your body and it feels calmer, you are prepared to move into the practice of shifting to a more loving way of looking at things. Loving anything transforms your relationship to it and your perceptions about it.
Our brains can’t focus on judgment and love at the same time. Practicing love in whatever form you want to call it: appreciation, gratitude, enjoyment, etc. shuts off the part of our brain that makes us upset when judging.
Focusing on love instead of judgment transforms the energy and the emotion from something draining and fear based to a warm peaceful sensation. I’m sure you can tell the difference when you are feeling love versus judgment.
You don’t necessarily have to practice loving the thing you were just judging. You can start to shift the momentum in an easier way, like thinking about something else that’s easier for you to love, like a child or pet. Focusing on loving thoughts about something easier for you shifts you into a higher vibration. When you are ready to go back to think about what you were judging before, your perception will be less judgy and more loving.
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Practice loving everything, all the time:
Love is the most powerful energy there is.
Loving everything, all the time may sound like a big ask, but it is the key to shifting judgment permanently.
This means to take time, multiple times a day to focus on love. Bring things into your life that you love and focus on them multiple times a day. Focus on thoughts of things you love as much as you can remember to.
Your imagination is super powerful, and what you focus on expands. The more you can focus on what you love about your life, the more of what you want you will have. What can you love about your home, your job, your life?
Practicing loving thoughts and feelings all day will keep your frequency at a high level and soften any judgmental thoughts.
Some of the benefits of reducing judgment with a mindful loving practice are: better mental health, reduced stress in the body, increased immunity, better overall health, and better relationships among other things.
It is a daily practice for a lifetime, and is well worth it. The more judgment is released the lighter and happier you will continue feeling. Have fun with the practice!
Read more about Relationship Issues with Shana Olmstead.
Shana Olmstead, Intuitive Consultant
I see my life purpose as helping people to awaken to the truth of their divine nature, the powerful spiritual beings that they are. I have assisted hundreds of clients in my therapy practice to wake up to the understanding that we are all made of source energy, and are here to increase our consciousness and joy to help the evolution everyone on the planet. I am so excited and inspired to continue helping people through their own awakening! Contact me to schedule an appointment in person in Kirkland, Washington or for a phone or video consultation wherever you are located.
