When I bought my home, some of the things that drew me to it were its imperfections. The somewhat scratched wood floors on the narrow stairway, the arched ceilings of the upstairs bedrooms, the wall in the garage that still has the names and heights of the former owner’s children recorded each year of their growing up.
These small things helped me feel comfortable, like it was a home instead of just a house. It felt different and better to me than something brand new, or even completely renovated. It felt cozy and warm, like the house I grew up in. There was and is beauty in its imperfection.
I also like things clean, and an uncluttered environment is important to my sense of inner peace. Since I don’t live alone, of course it is not always clean and uncluttered, and part of my practice is to let go and surrender, while also working to maintain a sense of peace.
While I love the sense of a lived in, comfortable environment, I also have many daily opportunities to embrace surrendering control of seeing dishes in the sink (how hard is it to rinse and put in the dishwasher?) or toothpaste in the sink (just wipe it up, people!).
Somewhere in the middle lies the Japanese concept of Wabi Sabi. This is something I have been working on embracing and putting into practice in my own life. It happens when we embrace imperfection, and lean into impermanence. It means to hold simplicity as sacred, and historical meaningful objects as important.
When we are able to surrender our ideas of what we think is right, and how things “should” be, and instead appreciate the imperfect, and messy, and worn parts of life.
This doesn’t mean to ignore problems, or become a hoarder, or descend into chaos. It does mean to relax, surrender, and appreciate surprises, creativity and flexibility.
This will be a lifelong daily practice for me, and I’m getting better at it!
Some examples of what Wabi Sabi is and isn’t are:
Wabi Sabi is not:
Perfection
New technology
Botox/fillers
New shiny modern construction
Needing to always be more/better
Controlling other people
The newest bag/shoes
Wabi Sabi is:
The beauty of an old growth forest
Crow’s feet
A scratch on an old hardwood floor
The stain on the perfect old sweatshirt you love to wear at home
Handmade pottery
They way your husband spits (just a tiny bit) when he’s talking excitedly
The crooked way your old dog walks now
Some every day ways to embrace Wabi Sabi in your life are:
1. Notice Your Judgement:
A Wabi Sabi mindset is non-judgmental.
Create some awareness to when you are judging, and shift instead into a mindset of acceptance.
A judgmental mindset blocks our joy and peace, bringing in Wabi Sabi can bring us back to our natural state of joyful calm again.
Instead of: “Why can’t he just plan something for once!”
Try: “I understand and love how spontaneous my partner is!”
2. Focus on Appreciation:
A Wabi Sabi mindset sees the beauty in everything!
There is nothing wrong, just more opportunity to accept, and appreciate exactly the way things are.
Focusing on appreciation aligns you to the frequency of love, allowing you to channel in high vibration light into your body, rather than being drained by needing to “fix” things.
Instead of: “I need to mop the floors, and paint over that scratch in the wall right now”
Try: “I’m going to count 50 things in my home that I love right now”
3. Bring in Some History:
A Wabi Sabi mindset appreciates handmade and sentimental items, as well as simplicity.
It’s ok to like shiny new things, but don’t forget to appreciate and honor the history of things that have deep meaning for you as well.
Practice curating and creating space for meaningful items that you already own, rather than always seeking pleasure from brand new things.
This allows you to feel connected to things that remind you of who you really are. It allows you to slow down, be present and enjoy the beauty of things that truly bring you deep and lasting peace and joy.
Instead of: “I love going to Target every week and buying the latest trendy home décor”
Try: “I’m going to go through my grandmother’s old dishes and find a beautiful plate to display”
4. Love the Passage of Time:
The alternative to aging is not something we usually want.
Getting older is a beautiful thing, although it can feel uncomfortable to practice appreciation of this process.
How can we practice taking good care of ourselves, our environments, and our possessions, while also embracing and accepting their aging? To do so helps us to move through the process with more grace and ease, so that we can help both ourselves and others.
A Wabi Sabi mindset towards the passage of time is to cultivate and take good care of ourselves, our items and our environment, so they last, rather than needing to replace things with newer items.
Practice awareness of your language, both internally and externally, when discussing aging.
Instead of: “Ugh I’m getting old! I don’t like it!”
Try: “I love the wisdom I see in my eyes now, and I love taking good care of myself”
A Wabi Sabi mindset is a lifelong practice. I hope it can help you feel even a little bit more relaxed and settled into the life and person you are right now, you are perfect just as you are.