As we continue to grow and evolve, our relationships naturally grow and evolve as well. If they don’t, it tends to feel more and more uncomfortable, until something big changes, or it ends.
All of that is really ok. Whether we’re talking about romantic relationships, friendships, or family relationships, it sometimes is the best thing for all involved to set boundaries, create distance, or simply end the relationship 
altogether.
There are some common signs to look for when considering when or how to change the relationships in your life. If you notice any of these signs happening in an important relationship in your life, it may be time to think about setting boundaries in order to take better care of your emotional energy.
You are a sensitive, compassionate being, which is beautiful, but it also means you may have the tendency to take better care of the people in your life than they do of you, and to not even be aware of that until things are impacting you in a big way.
If you can begin to pay attention to the signs sooner, you can create the changes you need to make to keep moving forward on your path, you deserve to take care of yourself!
Signs it might be time to think about changing or leaving a relationship in your life:
1. You Can’t (Ever) Talk to Them:
It’s one thing for your partner or friend to sometimes deflect an important conversation, but if you are always met with defensiveness, or “let’s talk about it later” and later never happens, at some point you need to make a change.
If this is happening, write down how you feel, let them know that you have something important to discuss with them, and commit to a time to talk that you both agree on.
Explain how you’ve been feeling, in a calm and compassionate way, and let them know that if this pattern continues, and you can never have a conversation with them, that you will need to make some changes in the relationship.
If they still respond with defensiveness or deflection, you have your answer about setting boundaries in the relationship.
If they agree and take ownership of their part in the pattern, you can work on it, and move forward together.
2. They Don’t Listen to You:
This is similar, but can be confusing sometimes. Sometimes you have conversations with them, it seems like they hear you, but nothing ever changes!
In this case, have a similar conversation as above, their response will let you know if you need to change the relationship or if you will be able to work on it together.
3. They Aren’t Interested in Self Reflection:
If the other person in the relationship says things like “I don’t believe in therapy” or “meditation is stupid.” It is generally an indicator that their ego is terrified of their consciousness expanding.
They may not be quite ready to look inward in order to address any changes their soul may be looking to make.
This is just fine, but if you are reading this, you are someone that is always looking to evolve and grow and need to be surrounded by people that at the very least understand and support that for you, and if they do their own inner work as well, even better!
4. They are Gaslighting You:
When you feel confused about your reality, and like you are always doing something wrong, or walking on eggshells, you may be experiencing gaslighting in your relationship.
They may always turn things around on you and tell you it’s actually your fault, or always conveniently “forget” things they said, convincing you it never happened.
If this is happening in your relationship it will be very difficult to continue in a healthy way.
5. You are Doing all the Work in the Relationship:
This looks different in different kinds of relationships, but there is a common thread of feeling the need to prove yourself, rather than just trusting you are enough.
In friendships this can look like you are always the one reaching out, or making plans, or buying gifts when they are not.
In relationships maybe you always buy self-help books and want your partner to read them. Or maybe you try to get them to go to therapy.
When you want them to change and they aren’t interested, this is you being controlling, and it never works.
If you are always trying too hard, see what happens if you just stop.
You can just show up, rather than working so hard all the time!
If you stop doing all the work, and your friends don’t contact you for 6 months, or your partner never reads a self-help book and continues to not treat you well, this is important information to know.
If you always enable, and do all the work, this ends up in resentment and unhealthy relationships. You need to be able to see what happens when you can take a step back and let go of control.
If they still don’t show up in a way that feels good to you, you can change the relationship!
You are a being of love and light, and your compassion is beautiful!
The world needs your light to stay bright, so pay attention to any relationships in your life that are not helping your energy expand.
If one relationship needs to change or end, there are many other old souls out there waiting for you to release the old so that they can connect you with you so you can continue to evolve together!
Read more about Relationship Issues with Shana Olmstead.
