I believe everyone in our lives, and especially the most challenging people, are personal emotional trainers for us. They are in our lives to help us learn things about ourselves, to evolve our consciousness.
I know it doesn’t feel that way, often. It can feel so frustrating, and annoying, and sad to not be understood, or treated unfairly. And your feelings are valid. It’s ok to feel frustrated, and annoyed, and sad.
There are triggers everywhere, and it’s up to you how you want to perceive them energetically. You can either let them make you angry and stressed, increase the cortisol in your body, deplete your adrenal glands and make you sick, or find another way to look at things.
A lovely recent client of mine was being driven crazy by her ex. They had a difficult relationship, and he now lives right across the street from her. The worst part was, he now has a new girlfriend living there as well. My client was so angry and hurt, and being driven crazy every time she saw either of them.
She believed that he was doing it on purpose, to make her angry, and couldn’t stop thinking about it and feeling upset.
As I was explaining a different way to look at the situation, I could feel her openness and excitement, as well as some skepticism. “How could this be a good thing?” she asked? “He’s such an asshole, he just is riling me up on purpose!”
I encouraged her to just try to be curious about seeing him as a personal emotional trainer. To imagine that he is actually a blessing in her life, reminding her of her strength in leaving him, and she will notice over time that seeing him actually starts to make her feel empowered rather than angry.
It only took her a few weeks of experimenting with a new way of looking at it, and then she began reporting much different feeling to me. She said “I saw him out in the yard, and I wasn’t angry.” And “It’s so much easier now, I realize that we were a terrible match, and I am so grateful he’s with someone else!”
She wouldn’t have been able to learn how strong she really was if she wasn’t given this opportunity to be challenged by her ex having a new lady so in her face every day. It all was conspiring to help her grow, and she rose to the challenge so beautifully!
She came into our virtual session last week and said “I just want to thank you. Reframing challenging people as blessings has been so helpful that I was just telling my friend about it, and it helped her too.” That’s how the light of consciousness works, we feel it and pass it out to others to expand it even more!
Some ways to practice seeing others as personal emotional trainers for you are:
1. Notice When You’re Triggered:
When you feel annoyed with someone, take some time to ask yourself, “How can this help me to grow?”
Take care of your own triggers. They are not about the other person, don’t take things personally.
Instead of: “Why is my horrible ex bringing his girlfriend to live with him right in front of my face?”
Try: “What is this situation here to teach me about myself?”
The more personal responsibility we take in any situation, the more empowered we feel.
2. Keep Your Energy High:
Your frequency is always your responsibility.
The better you feel, the easier it is to remember that you are not a victim, and everyone in your life is here to help you learn more about yourself.
Do things to help yourself feel good, no matter who you think is not acting like you want them to in your life.
Instead of: “I can’t be happy here with him living there with HER!”
Try: “I create my own happiness, not matter what!”
It just takes a little practice to feel the truth of this.
3. Send Love:
Most of the time when we are frustrated with someone, we don’t think of sending them positive energy. Why should we “reward” someone who’s hurt us with loving energy?
It is not a reward, it is a gift for both of you, and it is the secret sauce that helps heal everything.
Our thoughts create an energetic frequency, and the more we can be sending love and light to any situation, the easier it is to navigate and find solutions for.
Instead of: “I’m so angry at him for doing this to me!!”
Try: “I’m going to send loving energy over there because it helps both of us!”
Love always feels better.
I hope you have fun remembering that everyone is a personal emotional trainer for you!
Read more about Relationship Issues with Shana Olmstead.
