Your ego is not your amigo. What does that mean? Your ego is full of fear, pretty bossy, very controlling, and not generally looking out for your soul’s true highest good. I don’t know about you, but I don’t have friends like that in my life. My amigos are not bossy or controlling, and are compassionate and want what’s in my highest good to manifest in my life.
So, clearly your ego is not a good friend. It is an old, reptilian part of us that we are evolving out of. It is trying to keep us safe, small and comfortable. It freaks out when we are trying to grow into our magnificent potential, because then it would be out of a job.
It is the voice inside that says “who are you to think you can do that”, and “you might look stupid if you try that, “or, “that’s probably too hard for you.” The voice that comes in and tries to scare you into staying small and quiet.
It is also the voice that validates the illusion of separateness. That justifies your anger or judgment towards another person. That says “you’re right, they’re wrong.” It is weapons, war, conflict and survival of the fittest. It is exclusion and nationalism. It is the idea that “they” should be punished for hurting you.
Often when going through the awakening process, bits of the ego and identity start falling away. You may experience new flashes of awareness like “maybe nobody is right or wrong” and “maybe it is possible to achieve those dreams I have.” And then the ego comes back in with its negative fearful thinking and tries to confuse you again.
As the strength and alignment into your soul increases, and consciousness continues to expand, this force starts to overpower the ego. The voice of calm, compassion and peace begins to grow more loudly inside while the fearful ego voice, while still there sometimes, gets quieter as we ignore it more and more in service of our higher purpose.
How can you tell when it’s the voice of your ego or the voice of your soul, or higher self? The ego is generally negative, judgmental, fearful, and contracted. The voice of your soul always wants you to grow, evolve, expand and love. It sounds pretty simple, and it really is. It just takes consistent practice to strengthen your positive soul voice and help your ego kindly take a back seat. “Thanks for all the help keeping me safe little guy, but I’m going to let you take a nap right now and go do my magical powerful work in the world.”
We don’t have to be mean to the ego just because it’s sometimes mean to us. We can gently and kindly remind it that we just don’t need it right now, and thank it for all its hard work.
It’s very common in our world today to live more under the influence of the ego than our soul, until we start to wake up and realize that it’s not serving us anymore. Sometimes this looks like waking up in a job, or a marriage, or a community that doesn’t resonate with your soul. Your ego may have had the idea that you have to get a certain kind of job, to have a certain kind of lifestyle, therefore you may have gone to school out of a fear based idea that you have to work at a job you don’t like in order to make a certain amount of money.
Sometimes it looks like marrying someone because your ego thought it was a good idea, and didn’t really check in with your soul or intuition about it. Maybe they looked a certain way, or made a certain amount of money, or checked other boxes on your imaginary checklist of how your life should look.
Sometimes everything in your life is artificial and ego based, your job, relationship, family, and friends. As this awareness is dawning it’s also very important to remember that we are all doing the best we can in every moment of our life with what we know at the time. There is no self-judgment by your soul, again that is a creation of the ego. It’s ok to have made choices in your life from whatever level of awareness you had at the time. Forgive yourself and move forward.
Once you have reached a new level of awareness however, it’s very important to live in alignment with it or you will not be happy. It is impossible to feel peaceful or fulfilled doing things in the world that no longer serve the new level of consciousness you have reached. Your ego will recommend that you try to stay stuck, saying things like “oh, I can help him change”, or “this job isn’t that bad, look at the benefits!” or “your friend didn’t mean that critical comment.”
As you begin to hear the loving whispers from your soul more, it may feel scary at first to take any action on them. Dismantling the ego often looks like big changes in your life on the physical plane as well as the spiritual.
This is why you’re here. It’s not to buy the bigger house or the bigger car, it’s not to maintain relationships that do not continue to help you grow, and it’s not to maintain the status quo. Your soul signed up to come here to grow, evolve and expand, which doesn’t happen by staying stuck and listening to fear.
It’s ok to start small when starting to let go of the voice of your ego and listen more to your soul, some baby steps to begin the process are:
- Starting to create more awareness around your thoughts and feelings. Noticing when you are triggered to go into fear (ego), and how it feels in your body. Taking a slow deep breath with your hand on your heart, and aligning back with source energy. Becoming more conscious of these old patterns will help you intervene, and kindly redirect your thoughts towards love and expansion rather than fear and contraction.
- Meditate on releasing your identity. Sitting quietly, taking slow relaxed breaths until you are calm, and then imagining letting go of all of the roles you play on earth: father, daughter, husband, employee, friend, etc.….imagining what is left of you without these things. Practicing being in that energy often and just letting whatever thoughts, feelings or images arise.
- Starting to question everything in your life. Not that you have to change it all, but honestly reevaluating if these things are still serving you, or if you are just stuck and comfortable. It’s ok not to take immediate action on changing them, but even beginning to be more honest with yourself about what you really want will help allow the process of change.
- Thank your ego for all of its hard work and let it know it’s time to retire. When it starts to act up again, just gently remind it that it has served you well, and now you are ready to live out of love instead of fear.
Edging God Out. There is no room for love, God, Source, the Universe, whatever you want to call it when your ego is in charge. Becoming more conscious and living out of love instead of fear is where it’s at. You can do it, and it will in turn help the evolution of all of us here.
The more we can all tune into our truth and let go of old fear based belief systems, the more we can all continue to evolve collectively!
Read more about Relationship Issues with Shana Olmstead.
Shana Olmstead, Intuitive Consultant
I see my life purpose as helping people to awaken to the truth of their divine nature, the powerful spiritual beings that they are. I have assisted hundreds of clients in my therapy practice to wake up to the understanding that we are all made of source energy, and are here to increase our consciousness and joy to help the evolution everyone on the planet. I am so excited and inspired to continue helping people through their own awakening! Contact me to schedule an appointment in person in Kirkland, Washington or for a phone or video consultation wherever you are located.
