She’s so nice. Like most of the people I work with. So nice, and compassionate and nurturing. While this is wonderful, when it turns into too much self-sacrifice it can be a problem.
She likes her job and her coworkers, and even though she didn’t want to work as much as she did, she was having trouble setting boundaries with her boss. Her body was whispering, “Slow down, take more time to rest.” She was working more than she wanted to, and he wasn’t listening to her.
Working so much eventually took a toll on her physical body.
She pushed herself to help others and do her best at work, even when it literally hurt. She recently was injured. She works in a physical job, and repetitive stress had finally created a problem she couldn’t ignore.
She tried to take some time off, but her boss said he was short staffed, and again she felt bad and didn’t want anyone to suffer, so she kept working. The pain continued. It kept getting worse.
Her wife also was encouraging her to take some time off to recover, but she felt like she couldn’t. She would also do too much at home. It was so hard for her to just take care of herself and just stop.
The pain finally got so bad, and she did enough of her own research to understand that if she kept pushing it, she would potentially create a permanent injury. So, she took some time off work, even though she felt guilty.
This is the way the universe works. If we don’t pay attention to signs in the beginning, they increase, it gets harder, and doesn’t really let up until we understand the lesson.
There are ways to understand these lessons earlier, before they show up physically, and if it’s already manifested physically, to understand why, in order to create a different future.
Some ways to listen to the wisdom your body is trying to communicate with you:
1. Pay Attention to the Signs:
Your energy system is constantly communicating with you.
Most of the time we are in our heads, detached from awareness of our energetic and physical body.
Start paying attention to subtle shifts in your energy, so that you can intervene before they get so big they interrupt your whole life.
For example, my client started noticing slight pain months before it increased to the point of needing to take time off work.
Next time, she can step in earlier, get some treatment, and move through the discomfort in a less negatively impactful way.
Instead of “I have to keep going”
Try “It’s important for me to take good care of my physical body”
2. Get Curious:
Our bodies are messengers of wisdom.
They are connected to all that is, and have all the answers that you could ever want about yourself or any “issue” you may have.
If we can approach any physical misalignment with curiosity and compassion, it will communicate the answers back.
Instead of “I can’t let myself feel this pain”
Try “What is my body trying to communicate with me?”
For example, instead of pushing the pain down and pretending it wasn’t there (which didn’t work at all!)
Next time, my client can slow down, and do some automatic writing about what it’s trying to tell her. Meditate, and then write at the top of the page “Please express to me whatever’s in my highest good about my health.”
To try this, just see what comes through in the writing and pay attention. Your body is trying to communicate with you, if you don’t listen, it starts throwing a temper tantrum to try to get your attention
For my client, her body was trying to tell her to say no, set boundaries, and take better care of herself.
If you can meet it with love instead, it will calm down and be able to heal because it is no longer being ignored.
3. Understand the Roots:
There are generally old stories and belief systems that contribute to denying our physical symptoms.
When we can understand why we act the way we do, it can be easier to create change.
Ask yourself, or work with a therapist, to understand how your experience growing up with your family of origin impacts how you listen to or deny your physical experience.
For example, my client was raised in a family where you just kept going if you were injured, and if you complained nobody really listened anyway.
Next time, my client will continue working on creating her own self validation and reparenting to repair the lack of nurturing from her past.
Instead of “This is just the way I am, I ignore my pain”
Try “I’m going to change the pattern of self-denial that I observed growing up and practice nurturing myself instead”
We are able to change our patterns once we are aware of them.
It’s all a learning opportunity. Our bodies want to talk to us, and we can either listen at the beginning, or wait until it’s more uncomfortable.
I invite you to connect with curiosity to your body and any messages it wants to share with you. It is such a miracle to be a witness to the deep wisdom that my clients bodies communicate with me, and to be able to help my clients do this work for themselves!
Read more about Anxiety Treatment with Shana Olmstead.
