This post has been a long time coming. I’m ready to open up and share more of my personal story with the hopes of both allowing more of my full self to come forward and hopefully to inspire others to do the same.
I have been very sensitive and connected spiritually since I was little, although I wasn’t aware of it or validated for it back then. I just thought I was weird, shy, awkward, too sensitive, etc…I felt everything from everyone and just wanted harmony which wasn’t always happening. I didn’t know that I was picking up on all the feelings and energy all around me because no one in my life at the time talked about anything like that. I just thought I was weird and different.
I shut down the spiritual part of myself when I was young in order to survive, and lived out of my logical brain. I was very smart and perceptive, and I know now that much of that was due to my sensitivity and intuition, I knew things sometimes that I could not have known. I was driven and a perfectionist in school and my sport of choice, gymnastics, in an attempt to fit in to this harsh world that I didn’t understand yet.
I was lost emotionally and spiritually throughout my childhood and teenage years, when perfectionism didn’t work to make me happy or fit in, I tried anger and rebellion which also didn’t feel good but I didn’t know what else to do, nothing was working. I tried throwing myself all the way into dysfunctional enmeshed romantic relationships to try to get a taste of that deep unconditional love feeling I knew was out there somewhere, a feeling of being connected. This also only worked momentarily, and still left me feeling alone and confused, I knew there was more but I didn’t know what.
I decided that a husband and children would fix my confusion and give me a more permanent feeling of connection. Living so much out of logic at that time led me to being in an unhappy marriage with someone who confirmed my deepest fears about myself at that time, that I wasn’t enough. The unhappiness finally led be to begin seeking spiritually after the births of my two children.
I began practicing and eventually instructing yoga. I began reading spiritual books and really understanding them. I brought my family to a Unity church and cried through the sermons because the words were finally resonating so deeply. I was cracking open.
One night, during one of the worst arguments I had had with my ex-husband, my whole being shifted. I was exhausted, stressed, angry and at the end of my ego rope as a human on earth. In that moment I realized that none of that mattered. I was a timeless, formless, amazing spiritual being connected to all the other spiritual beings on our planet. I knew with all of my soul that we are all made of energy, all connected, and all formed from pure love. I knew that anger and fear were an illusion and our job was to increase our own consciousness in order to assist in the evolution of the consciousness of the planet. I knew that we chose all of our lives and family members before we came to earth to learn lessons we chose to learn in this lifetime. I knew that God is love, and every experience we have is here to elevate our consciousness. I knew for sure that all was well and always would be.
It was a spiritual awakening. Everything about the way I felt, thought, spoke and behaved changed from that moment on. I could feel energy in my body and felt in bliss. I completely understood what people meant when they talked about being “born again”. What I experienced was not the exact Christian concept but the feeling was the same, I knew it. Instant complete transformation.
I had kind of heard about “spiritual awakenings” at that time but not really. When my transformation was taking place I was deep in the suburbs, a mom of two with suburban mom friends who didn’t understand anything I was talking about, they were thinking about things like dinner parties and buying the right designer jeans. I was not surrounded by anyone who discussed these sorts of spiritual things. I knew I needed new people in my life, I just didn’t know who they were or how to find them yet.
Shortly after that time I continued seeking and learning. Going to therapy, reading, praying, meditating and feeling so connected and at peace. I felt energy coursing through me that I had never felt before. It became so clear to me that I had gone through all of this for a reason. I felt so different and amazing and felt a calling to share with others that it doesn’t have to be so hard, there really are no problems, and life can be magical and miraculous.
I felt a pull to be a “spiritual counselor” even though I didn’t really know what that was or if it was even a thing. In a meditation I heard the word Bastyr (which I hadn’t really heard of before) and discovered the perfect program for me, Health Psychology and Spirituality, to deepen my study, continue my forward progress, and connect with people who understood the new way I was seeing the world.
I left my marriage with my two small children at the time because it was becoming too apparent that our mismatched world views and vibrational frequencies would not support my continued evolution. I had no money when I applied to Bastyr, but it cost $100 to apply and I knew I needed to do it. I had checks with sayings on them at the time and didn’t realize until after I had filled out the check (with fingers crossed that it wouldn’t bounce!) that the saying on that check was “take the great leap of faith”.
I jumped into schooling, knowing it would be a significant cost and that I would be supported by the Universe all the way through. There was no evidence in reality that it would be possible: I had two small children, no money coming in, had just gone through divorce and financial trouble with my ex, and really had no help or financial support through the process.
I began school, my family survived, my spiritual practice deepened and was validated even more during my time there, and I continued learning and growing at Bastyr and during the next step on my path of graduate school. I felt a calling to be a bridge from my old material suburban world and the people in it, to assist in the awakening process of non “woo woo” people who didn’t even know what awakening was yet.
In order to fulfill that soul mission, I got a legitimate professional mental health degree so that the “normal” people I wanted to help would feel comfortable coming to me. I incorporated all of my own independent learning and teachings from my time at Bastyr in order to bring in the spiritual component that I knew was so necessary for healing.
I graduated, my practice was building very slowly and I was working a terrible job when I got laid off. It was another beautiful gift from the Universe. I was faced with big bills, paying rent, feeding my children, etc, and my very large student loan repayment plan increased drastically at that time. I still had enormous faith and knew things would work out even though all logic disagreed with that.
At just the right moment, my grandmother, who had never helped me financially before, gifted my mother, sister and I enough money to pay off my student loans with just a little left over to help my business get going. Again, the amazing beauty of the support of the Universe. When I aligned myself on the path of my purpose there was nothing that could stop it, and miracles continued to happen to allow me to grow and expand in order to help elevate others.
I have operated on a covertly spiritual level since then with my clients. Going deep and spiritual with those who opened the door and were interested, and keeping it more on the surface with those who weren’t quite ready yet.
My spiritual transformation allowed me to be very prepared for the last two years when both of my parents suddenly became ill and passed away. I understood that we had all chosen this path, and that the relationships with them did not end, they transformed. They were both all around me and helped me through the grieving process, and I still have a close relationship with both of them. This period was a validation again that my beliefs are absolutely true for me and helped me move through the grief in a beautiful and connected way. It helped me again grow so much in my understanding of grief, this world, and the other side in a way that I never had. It allowed me to empathize with my grieving clients in a new way and help them to heal. It broke me open, and my spiritual perspective allowed me to see the miracles along the way.
Through this and other life changing learning opportunities, I am realizing that I am again going through a shift. I am still a bridge from the normal, non woo woo world to create an opening for spiritual awakening. At the same time it is becoming more difficult for me to not discuss with every client the way I see the world and the spiritual tools that I know are the key for transformation.
I am moving more in the direction of intuitive spiritual counseling more openly, coming out of the closet. I am ready to move out of hiding in the traditional psychotherapy world and embody what I teach my clients every day, living authentically, speaking and living all of my truth in all areas of my life.
I am proud of myself for allowing myself to be open to this shift, to changing my practice, and for writing this coming out post. I am expressing my truth with bravery and vulnerability in order to help people more deeply learn and grow from my story and what I have learned so far. My job is to continue opening up and increasing my consciousness, living in my joy in order to continue sparking that consciousness and joy to those around me and my clients.
So I will be continuing to evolve how my practice and sessions look, incorporating more openly my intuitive guidance and spiritual teachings into our work together and over time moving out of the traditional psychotherapy format altogether to a more authentic version of the practice and person I am growing into.
I can’t wait to see where things evolve from here!
Read more about Spiritual Counseling with Shana Olmstead.
Shana Olmstead, Intuitive Consultant
I see my life purpose as helping people to awaken to the truth of their divine nature, the powerful spiritual beings that they are. I have assisted hundreds of clients in my therapy practice to wake up to the understanding that we are all made of source energy, and are here to increase our consciousness and joy to help the evolution everyone on the planet. I am so excited and inspired to continue helping people through their own awakening! Contact me to schedule an appointment in person in Kirkland, Washington or for a phone or video consultation wherever you are located.
