How about we all let go, just a little bit, of our identity. That thing that makes us feel safe, and in control, and…separate from others. We all have an idea of who we are. Sometimes it can be helpful, but often that thing that makes us feel special is also the thing that gets in the way of our evolution.
I was working with a client last week who is beginning to feel and be perceived as “positive” by himself and others. He has always had a lot of judgment towards people he sees as “happy go lucky.” He doesn’t want to be that, at all. He feels super annoyed at those people, and he judges them. Hard.
As we moved through the session last week, he was able to come to the awareness that his judgment of those people came from his limiting belief that they were not smart. He realized that a large part of his own identity comes from being smart (he is very smart), and therefore he can’t be “happy go lucky” or positive, because that would threaten this major part of his identity that he prides himself on.
His new insight felt like a lightning bolt. It is one of the very best and most exciting parts of my job, to see the shift that happens when people gain more visibility into who they truly are.
It still will take time for him to integrate this awareness. He will still have moments of forgetting, of slipping back into the slightly cynical, super smart identity that he has crafted so well over the years.
He had received some new feedback from others that he was a positive person, that felt good to him on one level. At the same time, he was still working on integrating the self-judgment that came up when he thought of himself that way.
This is such a good example of something that all of us do, all the time, whether we are conscious of it or not. I can relate to my client as well. When I moved from my hometown, and went through a spiritual awakening of my own, I went from someone shy, insecure, sarcastic and guarded, to a much more open, confident, and outwardly positive person.
I too, received feedback that I had “changed” and people that I used to know couldn’t understand who I was becoming. The fear of this feedback is what keeps many people stuck, and not growing and evolving as their soul really wants to.
It’s healthy to reevaluate our identity often. Who we think we are is an illusion, in truth we are all spiritual beings, emitting a frequency of consciousness that lights our path in this life.
In order to understand who we really are, and deconstruct our old ideas of our identity, it can be helpful to do some self-reflection and practices to connect to the source of all that is.
Some helpful practices are:
- Meditation:
Start with some slow deep breaths to calm your body and relax into the parasympathetic nervous system response.
Imagine a ball of beautiful light glowing right in the center of your body. Imagine this light expanding to fill your whole body.
This light continues to expand around your body, it fills the room you’re in, and then your house, your neighborhood, and city, and continues to expand until it covers the whole earth.
This beautiful light of your aura fills the universe with light, and you are a piece of the divine, one with this light that is one with all that is.
Practice this meditation frequently to remind your energy system that you are not separate, and your identity is love and light.
- Connecting with Source:
Connecting to the “spiritual” part of the brain, through meditation, prayer, nature, or practicing distance healing will connect
you to the universal field of consciousness.
When you feel this sense of oneness, it’s easier to remember that you are not wholly housed in your body. That you are part of something bigger, and don’t need to hold on so tightly to your identity in order to feel safe.
- Self-Reflective Journaling:
After practicing the feeling of oneness, it is a great time to channel your soul through writing. 
Connecting to oneness calms the ego, the part of us that believes we need an “identity” to be safe and special, down just enough to help us access the deeper wisdom of our soul.
Take out a piece of paper, and write at the top: Please express to me who I really am.
Just let your soul express to you anything it wants. Don’t judge or question, just allow the wisdom to emerge.
Just being aware that we are able to change our identity, that it is not fixed, that we are bigger than a “smart” person, or a “cool” person, or a “good” person, or a teacher, or husband, or software developer, or priest.
We are all spiritual beings, a piece of the same source, we are all one with the universe. The more we can connect to that feeling, the freer and more peaceful we feel.
Read more about Spiritual Counseling with Shana Olmstead.
