Alonliness = the awareness of the need for alone time.

I get real cranky when I have alonliness.  Sometimes I feel tired too, or just like I want to hibernate.  If I ignore these symptoms for too long, it’s no Bueno for me, my energy system, or people in my life!

I used to not know what these things meant.  I used to judge myself for being irritable for no reason, or not wanting to be around people as much as others in my life did.  I used to think there was something wrong with Roach-Meditationme.

As I’ve matured, and learned more about empaths, and sensitivity and self-acceptance, I have learned more about how to take care of myself.  One of the ways that I recharge as an introvert and sensitive, empathic person, is time by myself.  All by myself.

This isn’t always easy to get, for me or others that need it.  We have to fight guilt, or obligations, or other people’s strong feelings about our need for alone time.  It’s also so important!

If we don’t listen to our internal cues of alonliness, it will create trouble for us and the world around us.  We won’t be able to hear or know how we feel.  We won’t have all the energy we need to feel our best or help others.

Woman meditating on lake

What are some signs of Alonliness?:

1. Irritability:

 

One of the first signs of Alonliness is being irritable.

 

This can happen with anyone in your life, even those people you really like hanging out with.

 

It’s not something to judge yourself for, it’s just a sign that you may need more time to be quiet and recharge by yourself.

2. Confusion:

 

Sensitive people like you need space to know how you think and feel.

 

Another sign of alonliness is feeling confused, not knowing what to do or how you feel.

 

In order to gain more clarity, it’s important to spend time connecting your energy back with yourself, and unhooking from others.

3. Low Energy:

 

This one took me awhile to learn.  I realized that when my energy is low, it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong, sometimes I just need a little time alone.

 

For empaths, our energy system is often unconsciously plugging in to others around us.  We are attuning to them, making sure everything is harmonious.

 

While this is easy for us, we also need some time to unplug from others, and plug into ourselves and the universe to fill back up with energy!

 

Ways to combat Alonliness:

1. Be Honest With Yourself:

 

If you’re feeling some of the signs above, it’s important to stop pretending you’re not.

 

It’s ok to need some time away, so don’t judge yourself for this.  

 

It’s so important to not try to be like “everyone else” and accept that you need time alone to feel your best.  It is a sign of evolved consciousness to be able to know who you are and what you need.

 

Tell yourself “In order to be my best I am going to create space to connect with myself.”

2. Set Boundaries:

 

This is hard sometimes, especially for super nice people like you!

 

Generally people in your life are willing to respect your boundaries.  It’s up to you to be honest with yourself to know what they are, and to communicate them with people in your life.

 

Do some internal reflection to find clarity on what you need, and let others know.

 

Be confident when you state your needs, and if you encounter any push back from them, you can explain “I am realizing that I have a need to recharge by myself in order to maintain my energy.”

 

Let them know it’s not personal, and that you will be a better partner, mother, son, etc., the better you take care of yourself.

3. Be Consistent:

 

This is so important!

 

Be proactive and consistent with your energy management practices.

 

In order to prevent most of the extreme symptoms of alonliness, plug in some alone time into your calendar.

 

Check in with yourself to see if it’s an hour, a day, or longer that you need, and consistently commit to that.

 

It can be 5 minutes in meditation, or a walk in nature by yourself once a day, or a day by yourself exploring the city once a month.

 

Make sure you are giving yourself this magical preventative medicine to keep your vibration at a maximum level for you, you deserve it!

 

Read more about Spiritual Counseling with Shana Olmstead.